I recently finished the 3rd month of insanity. People are starting to get into it. There are about 4 different groups on base doing it now. My group who does it in the fstp classroom has recently decided to do something called discipline december. Thought there were some funny email involved with them. So I've included them in the blog.
Also at the bottom is the Antarctic version of the famous Onion newspaper, The Antarctic Scallion, put out by Bob the dentist. I couldn't get the pictures to work, but the articles are pretty funny
Comrades of the crippled quadriceps,
I write to you on the lustrous eve of destiny. Verily, the sun sets on the long day of gluttony and fragile will power. Tomorrow dawns a new day of fortitude, dedication, and power squats that ripple in the wind like bountiful wheat as far as the eye can see. Even as the sun rises (somewhere, not here...it's a metaphor cut me some slack) we will find ourselves embarking on the greatest challenge undertaken by Antarctic man and woman this long Austral Summer.
Indeed, Discipline December is upon us.
Thusly we enter the unbreakable pact of dessert ditching, tator tot tossing, frosty boy forgetting dedication that will deliver us unto the holy land of abs that Shaun T has promised these many arduous weeks.
Should you choose to carry the unruly, cruel cross of commitment the rules will be as follow:
1. From Monday until Saturday night, beer, soda, bread, pasta, tator tots, scalloped potatoes, desserts and all other insidious delicacies are strictly forbidden. If it's not on this list, but you would hassle Mitch for eating it, you probably shouldn't eat it either.
2. In a nod to realistic expectations, Saturday night is a free night.indulge in beer, dessert, or whatever your heart so desires. Likewise, Sunday brunch is unrestricted.
3. Eat as much fresh fruit, veggies, and salad as you wish.at least while it's here.
4. Protein is your friend.eat as much of it as you can. The second month of Insanity is going to suck, your muscles will thank you.
5. Water, water, water.drink a lot of water. Then drink some more.
Obviously our diets are beholden to the fickle powers of the galley, thusly there is some wiggle room with the above rules. Example: tortillas or wholewheat bread at the sandwich station, granola for breakfast, etc. The general point of Discipline December is to avoid those foods that are going to hinder our relocation to Sixpackville. Use your discretion; you know what those foods are.
Will you join me in this greatest of human endeavors? Do you dare?
With sincerity and a perpetually tight core,
Zach
I accept your challenge with one concession.Christmas Dinner, which falls on a Monday night. I will thus swap my "free" night for this eve and next morning of gluttonous brunchery.
Damn you Shaun T and your illustrious promises of flat abs and tight buttocks!
Discipline December it is then...core on!
-Monica
Well someone has to sacrifice, to take one for the team so to speak. You all need an example of what not to do. Someone to give you motivation, to kick you while you’re down, to make you want it more. Someone to focus your pain, anguish, and hate on as you strive towards perfection. I am willing to be that person…to step it up…to take one for the team in order to help you reach your goal.
I will bear your burdens, you can pass them on to me. When you have that bottle of wine or 6 pack of beer on a Wednesday night, I will suck it up and drink it for you. When Frosty boy calls your name Monday at lunch, I will relieve you of the cone. When dear dear sweet Aunt Sally sends you gourmet chocolates, I will grin and bear and consume them for you.
I look forward to suffering so that you can succeed. Wish me luck. I will need it. I am getting nervous (like Shawn T for cardio) about this. To ease my nerves you may want to pull a few extra desserts for me today. Maybe even gift me with some Coors Light. But don’t worry too much. I will make it through.
Warm regards,
Touch the Floor!
Travis
PS: This email took forever to write. It’s hard to type with sticky cinnamon roll fingers
PPS: I received a large box of soap today in the mail. Mitch has reserved most of it, but I will be handing the remainder of it out
Yes, I also hereby concede to the concession....um...uh...what....I'm in:) Minus the Christmas holiday celebration time...bc it is important for me to be in the Christmas spirit...like fruit cake and such, ha ha!
Let the core transform!
-Elisha
I pledge, with all my core, to your core doctrine……….core
I pledge, with all my core, to your core doctrine……….core
-mitch
The Antarctic Scallion
“We don’t ruin a good story with the facts”
McMurdo administration announces personnel reduction strategy
Following recommendations from the Blue Ribbon Panel, Rec has been authorized by the Chalet to post sign up sheets for:
Crevasse jumping- In an effort to dispose of vehicles long past their life cycle as well as employees who have outlived their usefulness, sign up sheets are up for a one way excursion in a Tucker or Stretch 8 dozer provided by the new Kamikaze division of Shuttles. Check with housing and leave keys and linen before departure.
Gear issue will provide waivers, insurance forms making LM the beneficiaries of all your worldly possessions and a copy of the Bible, Koran or Torah with highlighted sections of the last rites.
Erebus crater rappelling and optional lava lake picnic- pick up asbestos suits made in the craft shop from materials gathered from the dorm remodels. The suits were made for one time use and do not require any deposit. Pick up hot dogs, buns and supplies for smores from the galley for an Erebus lava lake cookout.
Mt Erebus beckons for adventure!
Weather- sunny and cold, with possible clouds for the next 10-15,000 years in the summer, with a 100% chance of darkness and cold in the winter months.
Melt pool laps at the pressure ridges- better than a polar plunge. You can pick up a spandex lined Weddell seal skin swim suit from Gear Issue in hopes of attracting some orcas to assist one of the PI’s in her study of feeding habits of orcas. You’ll be asked to swallow a small radio transmitter prior to your swim so if you become an orca meal the researchers will be able to accurately track your remains and determine the time it takes food to pass through the gut of your host. Once located, the stool sample with the transmitter will be retrieved and sent to loved ones to assist in the grieving process and issues of closure.
Pressure Ridge melt lap pool
Arrival Heights- off limits- people just don’t get it. Blackbriar Ops, a wholly owned subsidiary of a Chinese fireworks company, has been brought in as a new subcontractor to lay land mines to discourage people from going off the trails. If you still feel the need to go off trail, you can increase your chances of survival by taking Harry’s land mine defusing class in the metals shop on Mondays and Wednesday evenings, which is a pre-requisite for the prosthetic limb replacement class next door with the carps.
Fire Dept prefers single gear vehicles
In a bold cost cutting move that earned kudus from the bean counters back in Denver
Medical news- Lead doc Jim McKeith said they had an interesting case of a PI in the clinic that could only talk in acronyms. His speech was unintelligible, and he kept referring to a paper in his pocket about research projects for drilling in the ice in search of negatrons, a hypothetical subatomic particle. His grad students brought him in and Jim reassured them that a few days in the Navy hyperbaric chamber would restore his brain to full function, and if not he could always work on the PQ processing team.
Happy Camper- Numerous complaints have been received about Happy Camper being too soft and easy to survive without losing any limbs or appendages. Proposals have been forwarded to FSTP for an advanced class where students will be air dropped blindfolded somewhere on the polar plateau and left with nothing but a copy of the “The art of survival” by Robert Scott, with tips on reading weather patterns by Ernest Shackleton.
New Traverse- In response to the men who like to stay on the road without having to shave, shower, brush their teeth, or generally pay any attention to personal hygiene for endless periods of time, a new pole to pole traverse has been proposed. - Caterpillar will showcase their new amphibious vehicles to bring supplies to both polar regions without ever stopping. Because of the fuel demands the traverse team only has enough room to bring mill van croissants.
Sea and Ice trails underway for the Pole to Pole Traverse
Bob the dentist tries a few new gigs
In an effort to work at every dept on base, Bob was spotted in the library reading C-130 flight manuals and playing video flight simulators, so look for him in the crew box on your next flight off continent. In other news, he picked up a bottle of chloroform from Crary for a supposed root canal procedure, but inside sources revealed it was put to use on an unrelenting snoring roommate with great success.
Banana hoarding has been reported. If you know or suspect someone of hoarding bananas, please call the Chalet and report it. Your name will be strictly confidential, and you will move up the list of morale trips to Erebus and the dry valleys. In a related story, room inspections will continue and the Kiwis have agreed to provide specially trained banana sniffing dogs from their supply in Cheech. If caught, you will be sent on a demoralizing trip. You’ll be told you’re going to the south pole, and will fly there, but just as you’re about to land the gear will malfunction and you’ll have to boomerang back to McMurdo, work a night shift, and be assigned a new roommate that snores like a chainsaw, gets mind numbing drunk every night and is trying to set a new record for wearing unwashed clothes for the whole season.
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