[Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the lab
Not a creature was stirring, not even a crab.
The test tubes were placed in their racks with great care
In hopes dry valley samples soon would be there.
The grantees were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of perfect data danced in their heads.
And mamma in her lab coat, and I in safety goggles
Had just returned from a long winter’s boondoggle.]
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Phases
Nothing was alarming, not even duty pages.
Lab samples were entered into MOCA with care
In hopes that Michael Davis soon would be there
Lab staff were nestled all snug in their dorm,
Sore from wall sits and planks, despite perfect form.
And Kitten with his Bitcoin, and Carolyn, her wool
Were POCs for my long winter’s stroll.
When out on phase one there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from field party staging to see what was the
matter.
Up to the library I flew with great hope,
Tore open the blinds and focused the scope.
The midnight sun on the breast of McMurdo mud
Reminded me of my last battle with the crud
When, what to my goggled eyes should appear,
But a seal sled, and eight lab staff full of cheer
With a jovial driver, the opposite of feeble,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Ebel.
More rapid than skuas his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Marci! now, Richard! now, Linnah and Wyn!
On, Elisha! On, Liz! On Neal and Carolyn!
To the top of the lab! to the top of Ob hill!
Now dash away! Dash away! There are dewars to fill.
As drifting snow that before a condition one does fly,
When it meets with a pressure ridge, mounts up to the sky.
So up to Crary Lab the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of rad swipes, and space allocation too.
And then, amid freezer alarms, I heard on the roof
The laughing and joking of each Crary goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the fume hood mighty Ebel came with a bound.
He was covered in ECW, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with oil and soot.
An aquarium pump he had flung on his back,
And the fish began to jump when he opened his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His wisdom immeasurable, his stories so scary!
His strong little jaw was drawn up in a smile,
And the beard on his chin had clearly grown for a while.
The tools on his belt were smooth with great wear
And they sounded like music as he walked here and there
He had a calm face behind his stylin glasses,
Not to mention his vest was stained with molasses!
He strolled through the lab in a deliberate stride
There were fume hoods to fix and cracks to hide
A lingering joke and then a request from Supply,
Then was off to the aquarium to save a bernachii
He was humming and smiling, a right jolly UT,
And I laughed when I saw him, overflowing with glee!
A pressure gauge reading and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke of old times, but went straight to his work,
Replacing aquarium valves, he turned with a jerk.
Adjusting a freezer he warmed up his nose
And giving a nod, out the fume hood he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to the lab staff gave advice,
And away they all slid like a penguin on ice.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of site,
"Happy Christmas to all, but these budget cuts bite!"
*some explanation
Kitten is Mitch's nickname
Mike Ebel is the one and only UT (utilities) person in Crary that keeps the building running
MOCA = McMurdo Operations Cargo Application (for shipping science samples home)
ECW= Extreme cold weather gear
rad swipes = radiation swipes
bernachii = scientific name for one of the ice fish here
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