South Pole Musical

Spring wrote to us how things were going back in McM, and she used a play to explain one thing. So I decided to write a musical. Below is Spring's email with the play, my musical, and my head boss's comments.

Spring:

Hello friends,

It has been discussed around the office this year that Team Enviro runs on candy and nihilism, and also,obviously, pictures of good, good dogs. I am offering two of those things to you in this e-mail since, as yet, technology has not provided a way to send candy digitally (which is why I am unconcerned about the imminence of the singularity. If we can't e-mail sour patch kids yet, I don't think we're in danger of a robot uprising.)

First, the nihilism:

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/nihilist-dad-jokes

Wow, I am the number one target market for that particular article. McSweeneys just gets me.

There will be a doggurday photo of the best good boy at the end of this e-mail, but first, since Kaneen is the only person who knows about it so far, I will recount for you 2 tales of what you are all missing by not being in McMurdo this week where I am having all the fun. 

First: I spent 4 hours by myself in the middle of the night (10-2am) with a sawzall and a sledgehammer demolishing a baggage frame in the cargo bay made entirely of rotten wood and ants. It was full of leaf litter and fungus and algae and also three moths, one centipede, and one ladybug. I'd still rather be here than Pole, for what it's worth

Tale number 2, in the form of a play:

Scene: It is the tail-end of the NSF call where Nature is listing for ten minutes all the reasons the new Disney film about Penguins (named Steve) is shit. (File this conversation under: shocking news) when I get a call on the other line from the second worst safety guy on station.

Me. "Hello, what do you want?" (This is how I answer the phone when you're not here)

Safety guy: "We got an infestation. Maybe birds. Boiler room, 155"

Me. "Um, okay, that seems probable. I'll be there in 20" 

I go to the hand wash station where a boiler mechanic is waiting to escort me to their dungeon lair. There are many doors that you have to go through to get to the boiler room. I note this while visualizing making the journey as a bird with my bird wings and no fingers.

Boiler mechanic (BM henceforth): "Something is eating cake and pooping back here. There's a mess on my desk and keyboard that wasn't there at 5:00am. There are cake crumbs and bird poop. Look at that, that's bird poop. And look up there - cake crumbs!"

Me: "Have you seen a bird?"

BM: "No, but look. Poop. Crumbs."

Me: "Hmmmm....Do you have a ladder?"

BM: "Yes, here. See! More crumbs up there!" (points to a high shelf over the desk)

Me, now able to see the valve on the glycol waste-heat loop which is leaking and generating the "cake" and "bird poop" - "Looks like you have a glycol leak, see all that crumby poopy stuff seeping out of that valve?"

BM: "Whoa, how'd you find that?"

Me: "......."Okay. All good here? I'm gonna go........................."

Hope it's as much fun wherever you are. I miss you each and every one and will never take any of you for granted again. 

Love,

Spring

Me:

Spring-a-ling!

Sorry to hear you had some craziness recently. Sorry Nate and I couldn’t be there to help with all the bugs. We’ve uncovered the parts for an entire telescope. I’m sure there’s some giant lense in there that would have been the perfect magnifying glass. There was a party and tour at BICEP and the S. Pole Telescope last night. We learned that they are looking towards light particles that were there at the beginning of time, yet we still haven’t figured out how to electronically send sours!? There is a definite lack of candy here.

Here are the pics Elisha's mom sent of Yogi and Gismo today. And I’ve also included a photo of the chaperone for the middle school themed slow dance last night (“c’mon kids, hands off the butts!). You all can probably imagine that Nate was one of the main offenders.

Since your play so vividly allowed me to take a peak into your week, I decided to write a musical about ours (yes, I know you’re not too into musicals, but I really struggle with iambic pentameter and the music just seems to flow).  While you do not lag far behind Shakespeare in your writing, I am far off from Andrew Lloyd Webber, so bear with me.

Cast of Characters:

Nate Williams as Enviro Engineer (EE)

Travis Guy as Enviro Tech (ET)

Crunch as Vehicle Operator (VO)

Payot Neal Scheibe III as…wait, no one really knows what he does here either

Scene 1

Setting: Gymnasium

Song: “You’re not welcome here”

As song is sung, EE and ET, run around (with leaping dance moves) attempting to find a place to put their yoga mat, constantly being chased off after taking someone’s spot. Main chorus is sung by UTs with solos by EE and ET. Neal is seen eating ice cream through the doorway.

Scene 2

Setting: Fuelie locker room

Song: “I feel sweaty”

EE and ET sing as they maneuver through the tight room, attempting to put on all combinations of layers of clothes, giant heavy boots, and heavy outerwear. Sweat is seen pouring down their temples as they stuff their socks and mitts with hand warmers and attempt to adjust their goggles, hat, buff, and neck gaiters just right. Neal observes all this while eating a heaping bowl of ice cream.

Scene 3

Setting: Berm land

Song: “I feel frozen” (to the same tune as “I feel sweaty”)

EE and ET sing this song as the windchill freezes their sweat, as Nate attempts to write on a tiny spreadsheet bare-handed, and as goggles ice over.

Scene 4

Setting: Berm land and Solar 1 (outhouse)

Song: “At least it’s warm (those guys are weird)”

EE and ET are frequently seen entering and exiting the outhouse together. They sing that they are going in for warmth from the biting wind. Random station members (in heated tractors and snowcats) enter the scene to sing one-liners, wondering why the 2 strange McM fellows keep entering the outhouse together. Neal is seen in one of the snowcats eating a bowl of ice cream.

Scene 5

Setting: Berm

Song: “Crunch”

Instrumental song featuring the VO driving in and out and in and out and in and out of the pit being dug in the berm. The crunch of the tractor tracks are highlighted as are the crunch of the ET and EE’s boots on the frozen snow as they follow behind with a banana sled picking up the remnants of shattered pallets, boxes, and crates.

Scene 6

Setting: Berm

Song: “Waste it”

Funny and whimsical song where the EE and ET run and dance around the various crates writing ‘waste’ or ‘keep’. A box labeled ‘ice cream 2007’ is labeled ‘for Neal’ by the ET.

Scene 7

Setting: Bermland

Song: “Deflated”

Solo by EE. Song starts out upbeat with EE singing of all the progress. EE then climbs on top of giant case housing telescope parts. He clears his goggles of ice and then looks across the expanse of bermland (Bermland looks an awful lot like the ubran sprawl of Denver). The song turns darks when he realizes how much work is ahead, how will it ever all be shipped out, and that it will most likely all be bermed again. Throughout the song, the EE  dancefully jumps from crate to crate. Overhead shots or shown to highlight the expanse of bermland.

Scene 8

Setting: Berm

Song: “Money may grow on trees, but there are no trees at the South Pole”

Heartfelt solo by the VO as he realizes how much money all the items he has dug up cost, and how much transporting them in and then wasting them out will cost.

Scene 9

Setting: Berm, specifically exploded nut/bold/washer crate section

Song: “Not another nut”

Humorous song where the EE and ET keep finding one more nut, bold, or washer buried in the snow just when they think they’ve picked up the last one. They try, with no success, many methods to make this process faster, from using a giant magnet to shoveling them up (the nuts and bolts are huge and too heavy to put many on a shovel). The song ends with the EE and ET playing a version of corn-hole as they throw the nuts into the buckets.

Scene 10

Setting: fitness room and A4 pod bathroom

Song: “120 seconds”

ET is seen running hard on the treadmill, dripping in sweat, and walking past the bathroom. Next day is shown, same thing. Next day is show, same thing. Random station members are seen holding their noses. Song starts when next day, the ET is allowed to shower for 2 minutes. It’s a high-paced fast song. Neil is seen eating ice cream while slowly peddling on the exercise bike.

Scene 11

Setting: Galley

Song: “I scream, you scream”

All is forgotten upon the scooping of ice cream for dessert. 25 or so station members are seated at the galley tables. Neil scoops out giant servings of colorful ice cream and passes the bowls along. The station members sing a happy song about ice cream as it is passed along. Pounding of bowls and spoons form the instrumental portion of the song. Several station members are seen slipping Diamox into their ice cream.

Musical ends with EE seen slipping into bed, but lying diagonal to fit in it.

We all know musicals are exaggerations. This hits on some of the funny situations we’ve encountered here and some of the frustrations we have/are feeling. But DON’T let it fool you, we’re having a good time, working hard, staying warm, and making some progress on a huge project. Crunch is awesome, the food is delicious, station is relaxing, and we’re not feeling the altitude at all. Nate’s a great guy, and I enjoy working with him. This little skit was mostly for a laugh, so don’t feel bad for us! Well, maybe a little, enough to welcome us back to McM with plenty of sours!

Kaneen (my head boss)

Damn that is good stuff!!!! I suddenly feel uplifted while question my ability to tell a story all at the same time. I could not wait to sit down and read it- 

I can see/hear all this happening! Neil in the background eating is particularly hysterical. He and Clair stayed with us last winter/spring and I can still picture him leaning on a wall eating a bowl of ice cream (or peanut butter and something) - TOO REAL!!!! Love it:

Gizmo is intense and I love it: kinda like team enviro. 

All the love to you South Pole Bermies

Xo

K

The Deep South: Amundsen Scott South Pole Station

 12/4/18

Today I headed as far South as you can go on this globe, to the South Pole!! It was looking dicey as if we'd go today b/c of weather in McM, but we made it out. I'm heading down to sample water, wastewater, and help remediate some berm work with my boss Nate. Neal was also on our flight as he's going to the pole for the rest of the year.

Also on our flight were some DVs (distinguished visitors). The head of the NSF, the head of the Office of Polar Programs, and some others. So had to be on our best behavior! haha. Our plane was one of the LC-130s. The first part of the flight was overcast, and we couldn't see anything, but eventually we left the bad weather and had clear skies and could look down on the glaciated mountains and some absolutely monstrous glaciers. Eventually, as we got farther and farther south, the ice got thicker and thicker until it obscured all the mountains, and we were left with watching just the flat white ice sheet.

We landed to beautiful weather, and the warmest temperatures they've had all year (-17F, don't worry it dropped to -38F by dinner). The South Pole Station (known as the Amundsen Scott South Pole station) is at 90 degrees South and at 9,310 ft above sea leave; however, the pressure altitude makes it more like 10,500 feet. Thus altitude sickness is a real problem for people flying from sea level (which is me). When we arrived on station, we were first given a medical brief about high altitude sickness (they've had several med evacs from it so far this year). Most people chose to take diamox, a pill that helps speed of acclimatization, but I decided not to take it, as I've always done well at altitude. When then had a station brief and lunch. After lunch, Neal toured Nate and me around station.

It's a pretty sweet station. All enclosed in one building that is 2 levels high. There are several berthing modules within the building. Everyone has a tiny room (like a ship's room), but to ourselves. Just a bed, small window, phone, small desk, and some dressers. No tv like at McM. I like it though. I like small rooms that still have a lot of function and features. We do have internet connections in our rooms, unlike at McM. HOWEVER, we only have internet for a few hours a day. Because we are so far south, satellite coverage is poor. So we only have internet when a satellite happens to come our way.

That station has lots of amenities. A little store and post office. There's a fitness room with weights and cardio as well as a full court (but not full size) gym with basketball hoops. There's a small library,  a band room, several lounges with big screen tvs for movies and an extensive DVD and VHS library. They also have movies in Betamax (the cassette type thing you used to watch movies on before VHS). There's a greenhouse where they grow veggies for the station. There's a couch in the station in case you want to sit amongst the greenery and get a bit of humidity. The station, because it is so high and cold, is quite high. Outside can be basically 0% humidity, and a good day in the building is 15% humidity. There's also an arts and crafts room and game room. There's of course a science lab, laundry, and galley.

It appears as though the food here is going to be quite good! Easier to make better food for a smaller population. The population maxes out at about 150, but is currently about 125, though we have some extras tonight as the flight that carried us and the DVs with us, wasn't able to leave to fly back to McM because of such bad weather at McM. It's really bad and tough for the plane to stay at such a cold place, but there was no choice. This means the pilots, crew, and DVs (they were just planning on visiting for a couple of hours while the plane off-loaded fuel for the pole) are having to spend an unexpected night here. The folks who drive the tractors on the south pole traverse also arrived today, and they'll be heading back to McM in a couple of days. In case you don't know, the south pole traverse carries, by a train of snowcats, tons of fuel to bring up to the South Pole station.

Maybe one of the best parts is that they have real ice cream here!! Right now they have chocolate, pistachio, and some pecan butter one. Neal and I both had big helpings of ice cream at lunch and dessert!

We had the afternoon off to rest, due to the altitude. I felt fine though, so I explored around the station.

12/5/18

Today was our first day working on our main project out here. Basically, the jist is that over the years, materials and supplies have built up out on the berms. The berms are where they store items. At the end of the summer, they put the items high up snow berms to try to keep them from being covered by the winter drifting and accumulation. They sort of let things go and the berms got piled 3 high with crates, so that you have to dig over 20 feet down to get to the bottom. If you were to just leave these in the snow, after several thousand years, they’d all end up in the ocean as the icecaps and glaciers move. We’re trying to keep this from happening, so we’re digging them out and then deciding which things should stay, which should be wasted, and which can go to resale. There’s a guy in a tractor clearing snow and trying to carry the crates on pallets. It’s our job to shovel around to help expose crates, shovel snow off the top of crates, re-palletize things, organize, determine the fate of the various pallets, etc.

It’s tough and very physical work, especially in the cold, dressed in our full gear and heavy boots, and at altitude. The walk out to our site is ½ mile, which we walk back and forth twice (for lunch and the end of the work day), and it seems like forever after having worked hard, being hungry, and in such heavy gear on the soft snow. I definitely feel tired by the end of the day. The work is also sapp sucking a bit b/c it’s cleaning up all this waste, just to make more piles since they can’t possibly fly all of it out this year, since it’s at least 6 berms, piled 3 deep. And it’s crushing to see all these perfectly good items that will just be thrown away, not to mention all the fuel was used to carry them up here to not be used and then fuel to send them back. Such a huge waste both financially and environmentally. But Nate and I are working hard and getting along well.

Post work is relaxing though. The food is good and the dining room is small and quiet. Then I sorta relax in bed doing some reading and writing, drinking tea. Then I head out to exercise before settling down into bed. Right now the satellites are lined up just right that we start getting connection a bit before 8pm and it last until 11pm. We have internet hook-ups in the room and the internet is faster here since there is so many less people, so I’ve been able to do some things on the internet and even watch some youtubes while I relax.

The station is cool though, and it’s a tight knit community since it’s so small. Groups get together to play board games after work or play in the gym (dodgeball, wiffleball, kickball, volleyball, basketball). It’s also cool that the station is sorta like a boat or a space station in that it’s completely enclosed, so once you’re done with work, you can get into your relaxing clothes and just stay that way b/c you are indoors no matter where you go. At McM, you have to get dressed up to walk to the galley or the library or coffeehouse, or whatnot. And the big gym at McM is quite a long walk in the cold. So here it’s nice because everything is super close to get to, and you can just walk around in shorts and tennis shoes.

The ice cream is also a huge bonus to the station. Unlike McM where there isn’t icecream (just something called frosty boy, which is fake vanilla icecream), they have lots of real ice cream. And great flavors too! Since I’ve been here we’ve already had moose tracks, mint chip, butter pegan, cookies n cream, and rocky road. All some of my favorites.  I guess I deserve it with all the hard outdoor work, but I still feel the need to exercise.

I visited the physician assistant today because she said we had to see her before we could exercise if we wanted to exercise the 1^st week we were here. She told me that I shouldn’t because I risked getting altitude sickness and being sent back. Well, I was feeling fine, not out of breath on the stairs, slept through the night, and am pretty in touch with how I do with altitude (remember I often flew from sea level in FL to 9,890 ft at Mt. Crested Butte, only to go higher to backcountry ski). So I went on the spin bike and also ran a bit, and felt fine.

12/6/18

More work on the berms, which we’ll be doing pretty much everyday. Temperatures have been hanging around about -20F with -40F windchill. We don’t have a warming hut out where we are at, but there is an outhouse we go into to get out of the wind every now and then. Despite the cold, I stay pretty warm with all the cold weather gear we have and staying moving. The real tricky part though is keeping your goggles from fogging while keeping your nose and cheeks covered by a gaiter. If you have any exposed skin, you’ll get frost bite pretty quick if you’re in the wind, so you have to keep covered. Today I ran 4 miles on the treadmill at a pretty good clip, and felt fine.

12/7/18

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After my run and dinner, we went out to tour the modules of the South Pole Traverse, which had arrived a few days before us. Then Nate and I went to both the ceremonial South Pole and the actual geographic South Pole. After that there was some volleyball and then an open mic night in one of the lounges.

12/8/18

The grantees doing research at the South Pole telescope invited everyone over to their building and telescope for a party and tours. The tours from both the telescope people and a project called BICEP were very interesting. They’re looking deep, deep into space to try and find the first photons of light from the beginning of the universe. Very cool stuff. So Nate, Neal, and I went early to take the tours. It’s a bit of a walk, and along the way, there’s a huge pile of snow (40 or so feet) that has been plowed up, so we did some tubing on the tubing run that has been built there.

The party’s theme was Middle School Dance Slow Song Ladies night, meaning you were supposed to dress as a woman, and they played slow songs that they used to play at my generation’s middle school dances. I dressed up as the crazy librarian/chaperone that would have been in charge of making sure hands were off the butts during the dances and to “leave space for the Bible” between couples. The party was really nice because aside from the dancing, they had really good cheese, lots of nice wines, and about 20 types of fine chocolates that you could taste from.

12/9/18

They do Sunday brunch here too. It’s not as varied and good as McMurdo’s, but they did have sushi, which was crazy to think: sushi at the South Pole!

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After brunch, despite it being about -15F and a windchill of -40F, I went for a long ski along the ski way and then following the approach flags. It was 10.5 miles in total. On the way out, with the wind at my back, I was sweaty, and then when you turn around, it’s a fight to keep all your skin covered without your goggles icing over. I finished the ski by skiing by the geographic South Pole and the ceremonial South Pole. The last 5 miles, as I was going towards 90° South, I felt like Amundsen closing in on the Pole. Well, except that when I reached there, I wouldn’t have to set up a tent and instead could sit in the sauna and/or have icecream!

South Pole Extremes

A lack of sustained warmth from the low-hanging sun and a high altitude (approximately 9,000 ft above sea level) combine to form one of the coldest climates on Earth. The South Pole has an arid desert climate, receiving almost no precipitation and having a humidity of near zero.
The annual temperature at the South Pole averages about -57.1°F (-49.5°C). The record low temperature was -117.0°F (-82.8°C) in June 1982, and the record high temperatures was 7.5°F (-13.6°C) in December 1978.

Neal and Nate on the LC-130

Views from the flight

view from the cockpit

arrival at Pole

my room

greenhouse

greenhouse

mr. gnome at the greenhouse

library

craft room

craft room

band room

gym

medical = club med

galley

view out my room's window

game room

one of the lounges

me at the pole (ceremonial pole)

Me and Nate

Me at the geographic pole

supply and vehicle maintenance facility

station and snow piles

south pole telescope

inside of the telescope during the tour

my middle school dance slow dance costume

all covered up for a ski 

polar plateau